


The dregs and the Mascarade ball

by Midnightgirl876



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Declarations Of Love, Heist, Multi, Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-05-15 01:59:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14781459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnightgirl876/pseuds/Midnightgirl876
Summary: plus “Kaz will be there” a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. Inej scoffed“And what makes you think me and Kaz are - have a thing?The crows go to a mascarde ball . Kissing , hand holding . And confession on love?





	1. Inej’s pov 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [everyone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyone/gifts).



Mascaraed party  
Chapter one  
Inej

Inej sat at her dressing table wincing slightly as Nina was playing with her hair trying to find a hairstyle that would fit . “Just do a regular plait” said Inej  
“It can’t be a regular Inej it’s a party” She heard Nina pause plus “Kaz will be there” a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. Inej scoffed  
“And what makes you think me and Kaz are - have a thing?”she asked but even as she said it she always thought that Kaz was softer around her revealing the boy he was not the bitter impassive boy he showed to everyone else .  
“I think we are going to go for wavy hair” Nina said interrupting her thoughts . Inej nodded. A few minutes later her hair went from straight to wavy. She stood up Nina and Inej went shopping to find the right dress for both of them . It took inej a long time to find the right one she didn’t want to show too much skin but didn’t want to look plain ethier . She was wearing an ebony coloured skater dress the top half was black with silver embroidery . And a lace backing . She hadn’t worn anything this fancy in a long while . Unlike Inej Nina was showing as much skin as possible. She was wearing a black sliver mesh dress what showed her long legs and a good amount of her backend too.  
“I don’t think Matthias would approve”  
“Matthias doesn’t approve of much” Nina paused a evil grin creepy up on her face “plus I like it when he gawks” winking  
Inej laughed . She couldn’t help but imagine The shocked look on Matthias face when he saw Nina . Would Kaz do the same ? She had to laugh to herself Kaz only cares about two things Money and revenge . A religious girl who prayed and took penance everyday wasn’t on the agenda. Soon it was time to go they adjusted their masks and headed out into deep Ketterdam night . The sky was painted with bright pearly stars it looked like a page out of a children’s story book. They waited for Jesper at a Near by lamp post . Jesper didn’t live remotely in the city he lived on the outskirts about a half an hour drive . To his great dismay . Away from all the temptations of the city . Finally after what felt like forever Jesper’s rickety old truck pulled up . 

He turned Down the window  
“come on in the party is calling” Wylan was sitting next to him in the front seat smiling at them.  
“Your late” said Nina while getting into the car .  
“Sorry Wylan can be quite tempting”Jesper ran a finger down Wylan’s bare arm . Wylan flushed bright pink pushing Jesper off him “shut up” he mumbled . Inej just laughed  
“Always keeping it subtle Jesper”  
“You know me”he said with a wink  
He switched the radio on .  
“Perfect I can singalong to this one” said Nina they all groaned in dismay as Nina started to sing . The fresh autumn air blowing gently on Inej’s face . They all laughed the sound of Nina’s voice dancing in the air .jesper flirting non stop with Wylan . These were the moments she lived for . And so they drove through the darkness music in their ears and happiness in their hearts .


	2. Kaz pov

Mascaraed party  
Chapter 2  
Kaz  
Where are they Kaz thought in frustration . Where is everyone , Where is inej . Inej her name rung in his head like a church bell what would she be wearing? No what are you thinking even if you wanted to you couldn’t you can’t .He told himself sternly why was inej always on his mind even subconsciously . He couldn’t help but imagine her face her bronze skin glowing under the spotlight . He mentally kicked himself . Jesper was the one who was supposed to be picking up Nina and inej and of course he was late he was always late . He remembered Jesper giving him and advice about inej (Well more like teasing him ). “Why don’t you just admit it you like her”  
“I don’t need to admit to anything”  
“C’mon Kaz even Matthias can tell “ and that’s saying something”  
Kaz glared at Jesper “I have a class to get to “  
“You can’t hide your feelings forever” Jesper called after him Kaz put his middle finger up. As he walked into Maths class he thought about what Jesper said “you can’t hide your feelings forever “ well Kaz thought I have been doing it long enough . 

Now,Kaz was sipping idly on a cup of punch . Knowing well that it was likely someone put alcohol in it. He decided to lurk in a dark corner waiting . He ended up taking his phone out and texting Jesper.  
Kaz: Where the hell are you guys?

Jesper: oh hi Kaz sorry we are late this is Wylan by the way we will be there in five. 

He didn’t bother replying he didn’t need Wylan to say it was him . No one could be more polite than Wylan. As he stood in his dark corner he noticed that the crowd was getting thicker and thicker. Girls with short dresses legs bare ;eager boys enjoying the view . But none of those girls were inej . As long as anyone didn’t start to get too touchy he should be fine . He was fine . Breath in through the nose  
Out through the mouth  
As long as Jordie didn’t come back and haunt him he would be fine . He saw a heavy set shadowy figure approach him . Matthias he guessed . The first thing that came out of his mouth was ...  
“Have you seen-“  
“Nina isn’t here nether are the others , so don’t bother asking me where the hell they are” Kaz said with an irritable tone  
Matthias glowered at him , Kaz returned the glare his dark eyes challenging him. They both gave up staring at each other Matthias grunting in annoyance . Until Nina, Jesper, Wylan and inej walked into the room. Instantly Matthias’ jaw dropped as he saw Nina who was wearing some silver dress . Whatever mechanical thing she was wearing under that dress pushed her cleavage up high. And Matthias was definitely not the only one who was looking . Their eyes locked And Matthias started Marching over to her like some kind of soldier . His gaze shifted to Jesper who was wearing a lime green tie and a golden mask . His black shoes were laced with yellow. Ruffing wylan’s hair and making him blush the darkest shades of pink .  
And inej the thoughts he had locked up so tightly not even he could un pick seemed to burst in fits and starts . He couldn’t help it . Her bronze skin glowing like the sun had embodied its self into her . The black dress fit her with a simple ease her always plaited hair was left to lay on her shoulders in dark waves . She wore shoes what gave her a height but nothing extreme .  
The wild geranium hair clip that he left in her locker at Saint Ghezen’s day . He made sure to break into the school at night making sure nobody was there . He didn’t want anyone to know especially inej. At the last day of school she’d open her locker to find an unsigned gift . 

Now here they were music loud people laughing and drinking. Their eyes met the music faded the world seemed to evaporate and all that was left was them . Just for a split second then the music returned. The group started to head across to the corner were Mathias and Kaz were waiting . Kaz made his face unreadable . Well he thought to himself this night is going to be harder than he thought.


	3. Nina pov All eyes are on me but my eyes are on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then she saw them ,Matthias’ hair was tied back tight in man bun , golden tendrils falling perfectly around his face. 
> 
> This chapter is a bit long . Hope you enjoy it sorry if it isn’t as good

Mascarade party  
Chapter 3  
Nina all eyes are on me but my eyes are on you . 

As soon as Nina walked into the room she could sense eyes on her . She knew what she picked to wear was attention seeking . There were only three reasons for that . The first was that she knew inej didn’t want all the attention flocking to her . The second was simply because she liked the attention , she didn’t join drama club for nothing. Lastly she loved making Matthias jealous . 

But this wasn’t just a party it was a job as usual . They weren’t just here to party . They were here to hack into the school system to change some on the students grades and detention times . And as usual Kaz found some way to drag Nina and the others into his schemes. And of course Kaz wasn’t doing it for free never something for nothing. He promised them if they do their job right then they would receive fifty Kruge each . 

Nina scanned the room Matthias should be here and Kaz too. The room was stunning the room was draped with black and purple curtains the Kerch colours . The second floor was decorated in gold fairy lights twinkling like small stars. Some people were talking and laughing , others were kissing like their life depended on it . Then she saw them Matthias’ hair was tied back tight in man bun , golden tendrils falling perfectly around his face. His ice blue eyes shocked his jaw slightly dropped at the sight of her. Nina was impressed her efforts were worth it if it put that look on his face . 

She glanced at inej who was looking at Kaz and Kaz was looking at inej . They were both caught up in their own universe just them . And then the moment ended Jesper was waving wildly at Kaz and smiling . Kaz just stared back at him with a impassive look on his face .  
“Definitely not one for smiling “ said Jesper . They all nodded their heads in agreement. 

The group started heading towards Matthias and Kaz . Inej murmured under her breath  
“Matthias looks happy”  
Matthias was glowering directly at Nina  
“As happy as ever” said Wylan  
“He glowers more than you eat cake” Jesper joked  
“ I find that hard to believe” replied Nina  
As soon as they got there Matthias went straight to Nina’s side .  
“Nina , what are you-“  
“It’s called a dress Matthias , you look lovely nice seeing you too”  
“I didn’t mean-“  
“If you’re all done arguing we have a job to do” Kaz’s grating voice cut through the air.  
“Matthias you can talk to Nina about your jealousy later”  
Matthias glower darkened , Kaz ignored him. His hand rested on his crows head cane the school wanted to band him from bringing his cane to school . Kaz simply had said “You can’t deny a cripple his cane” . Jellen Radmakker the headteacher gave him a warning if he or any members of staff saw him use that cane for anything other than walking . Then it would be confiscated and he would be forced to use a regular cane. 

Now he started running through the plan . His focus only on the job. “ Wylan and Jesper you two need to set up the fireworks at the back of the school”  
“Always love a distraction”said Jesper  
“Wylan make sure Jesper doesn’t do anything stupid” Wylan nodded  
“Stay as inconspicuous as you possibly can” Kaz ordered  
“Me and inej will get to the top floor and hack into the system”  
“Do you know that password” inej asked  
A smile played on kaz’s lips “I have a very educated guess”  
“Matthias you guard the door , Nina you distract Radmakker”  
“And what exactly am I suppose to say to him” Nina asked incredulously  
“Ask him questions about the drama club , or when there is going to be a play” .  
“Why can’t I go with Nina” Matthias asked grudgingly  
“Because that’s not how the plan works “  
Matthias glared at Kaz yet again but he knew there was no point arguing with dirtyhands. Nina was still annoyed at Matthias , for once in his life couldn’t he just let loose ?  
“We meet outside 20 minutes tops”  
He gave a hard look at Jesper and wylan  
“And make sure your no where near the fireworks are set off”  
“No mourners” said Jesper already dragging Wylan with him  
“No funerals” they all replied in unison  
Nina knew that the worst that could happen were for them all to be suspended. And she’d be banned from drama club for a week . But it was a little Saying to show that the world only cared or noticed the important. The people with money and could make a change . There would be no grand parting for a bunch of high school misfits . 

Everyone started parting there individual jobs given to them. Nina took a big cup of punch and gulped it down .  
“Nina “ that same rough voice full of honour  
“Matthias we have a job to do” before he could say anything more . She shook out her hair getting herself into character.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It will ethier be Matthias chapter or Jesper . I’m not sure yet . Leave kudos and comment .


	4. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You need to Loosen up a bit , relax have a drink . Then Jesper looked Matthias up and down and saw his serious expression.  
> “Or maybe two”  
> ///////  
> It’s been awhile sorry I have been very busy but I hope you enjoy. Leave kudos and comment.

Chapter 4  
Explanations  
Matthias 

They made their way up the staircase . Pushing past bodies people were drunk out of their minds . He was annoyed at himself , annoyed at this stupid party he only came for Nina and he messed that up. He didn’t even want the money but he came anyways he wanted to be closer to Nina . She looked beautiful,outstanding . A princess no a queen strutting into the centre of the ballroom . Her hands on her marvellous hips ,the thick brown curls of her hair laying gently on her shoulder blades . . 

 

He had to stop this.  
He couldn’t be thinking these thoughts this was wrong. Jealousy and anger built up inside him when he saw boys watching her , looking her up and down. In ways which hinted at what they were thinking . When he saw her he wanted to go right by her side and pull her close to him, to feel the warmth of her body radiating next to his . He wanted to make her his . 

He couldn’t stop his mind always going to her . But he needed to focus on the task. Kaz had claimed that there was some secret trap door what lead to the 3rd floor. With all the computers and private documents of students, teachers and even people outside the school.

He remembered Jesper making fun of him. Nina was in one of her moods . “Nina wait” Matthias pleaded but she simply walked out the door. Not saying a single word. But the annoyance she had was still present In the room. He sighed leaning against the wall.  
“Well congratulations, for failing another round of how to be charming” Jesper said in a teasing tone.  
“What would you know?”  
“Plenty really for boys and girls, you -well you need practise”  
“I don’t need practise” Matthias said. His voice half growl half offended. Maybe he did need practise he never had been with anyone not as serious as Nina.  
“You need to Loosen up a bit , relax have a drink . Then Jesper looked Matthias up and down and saw his serious expression.  
“Or maybe two”  
Matthias just glowered at him hoping he would take the invitation to leave the room.  
Jesper just laughed “very well then” and sauntered out the room. 

They reached the 1st floor . To be greeted with groups of people laughing,talking and kissing. Again he thought of Nina he looked down she couldn’t see her clearly but he saw her black mask , her thick curls . She was strutting towards Radmakker being as dramatic as she could . Radmakker was talking with Cornelius smeet while watching the students. His face seemed surprised when he saw Nina approaching him . Anger  
enveloped him as he saw Smeet’s eyes dart over her figure briefly. That slimy good for nothing- .  
“She’ll be fine “ a reassuring voice interrupted his train of thought . Inej had placed a gentle hand on his shoulder .  
“We need to go now” said Kaz  
Matthias straightened his posterior and followed Them . His mind was so full of thoughts he barley noticed when the two stopped walking ,almost bumping into inej.  
“So ,what now” asked Matthias  
Inej traced her fingers. Then stopped at a strange patch in the wall. 

This must be the trap door that Kaz was talking about . Matthias looked behind him again he was surprised no one was watching them . Of course everyone was too busy with themselves to notice as inej pulled a string and a dark passage way was revelied to them. He had no idea how Kaz and inej both were supposed to fit through the tight gap. 

For a moment they looked up through the unlit vacuum of the attic. A thousand questions flooded into Matthias mind ,of how this was going to work .  
“Brekker-“ Matthias began  
“ you stay here ,when you hear three taps then pull the string”  
Matthias wanted to slap Kaz across the head with a broomstick . Why was he always assuming that he knew the answer to everything? Kaz gestured for Inej to climb up the rope ladder first . Graceful as ever her back poised she climbed up the ladder . He was surprised to see the tension in kaz’s spine. But he still disguised it well . Before Kaz climbed up he threw his cane at Matthias. He watched as the two disappeared and the trap door shut. Jesper and wylan should be setting up the fireworks, Nina should be distracting Radmakker and Kaz and inej should be hacking into the school system. 

He had no idea how he ended up with companions like these . But yet here he was. 

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\~\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  
15 minutes later 

Mathias kept checking his watch . How long was this going to take . He had noticed how the students were starting to get bored. Sooner or later they would start paying close attention .Even if the majority were bathed in liquor .Jesper and wylan would have to pick up the pace he listened closely for the three taps .Hoping , praying that soon Kaz and inej would appear he needed to explain himself to Nina . A few moments passed and he finally heard the three taps that he had been waiting for . He glanced around one last time just to make sure no one was paying close attention.As cautiously as he could he pulled the string; Inej came down first ,then Kaz .He spotted Anika and Keeg on the dance floor dancing lopsidedly over one another ,embracing each other warmly . And everywhere people were embracing dancing slowly with each other . Even Kuwei was on the dance floor, his arms wrapped around a boy with auburn hair. He felt so out of place . He wanted to be with her .  
He needed Nina  
“But does Nina need me”Matthias thought. Before he could think of anything else inej was by his side . He didn’t hear her but that wasn’t anything unusual. “Go to her” her voice was steady  
“It isn’t like that” Matthias said  
“My father once told me that there are three types of men who come across love. The first man is the man who forces love like shoving a spoon down a babies throat . The second is the man we boasts about his love showing it off ,treating his love like a brand new pair of shoes .  
The third is the man who is afraid ,afraid of making a mistake . So he sits there on the fence ;too frightened to get down and when he finally builds up the courage it’s too late” . In his head was the unsaid question which Man was he going to be for Nina . He knew what he needed to do . No more what ifs ,no more buts. Just here and now  
Here and now  
He repeated to himself. 

Matthias has already made up his mind . He threw kaz’s cane at him and started to make his way down the spiral stairs . They seemed longer now , separating him from where he really wanted to be . He looked at the clock the fireworks would be going off in approximately 10 minutes time he didn’t have long . He moved through the thick sea of bodies twisting ,bumping and trodding on peoples feet. He didn’t even bother to apologise. 

Then he spotted her . She wasn’t alone. 

Nina was laughing and lightly patting the boys arm .While talking in a flirtatious manner. He ignored the jealous rage that burn inside of him.  
“Nina” Matthias said  
She ignored him still acting as if he was invisible .  
“Nina” he asked again more urgent than before.  
“What business Helvar” she knew that he hated how the Kerch greeted each other, as if every incounter you made was to do with business. “Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a conversation”  
“It can wait”  
Nina rolled her eyes  
“And now your trying to control me”  
“Nina -I’m just simply asking to have a word with you”  
“To have a word you-“ Nina was cut off by the boy who she was flirting with .  
“I think it’s best if I leave”  
“Good your presence is no longer needed here” Matthias replied his voice was gruff filled with venom . The boy’s eyes widened with utter disbelief, and finally walked off . Matthias turned his attention back to Nina her expression the same as the boy but worse .  
“I can’t believe you” her voice was incredulous  
“Do you have to always scare people off”  
“ Nina I need to explain myself”  
“Explain yourself don’t even try. I wanted to spend this night with you Mathias as silly as that sounds ;I wanted to be with you dance with you ,laugh with you” she paused for a moment her voice grew serious “I wanted to kiss you”  
“Sometimes I even wonder if you wnat to be around me”.  
“Am I too loud”  
“Am I that overbearing that I am too embarrassing to be seen with you”  
“Nina stop , how could you ever think such things”  
“Really well every time we’re together ,it’s like you’re incapable of showing affection”  
This was madness . This whole thing was madness. 

“ Nina I am going to tell you the truth”  
“Well I am all ears”  
“ you were unexpected, a sudden storm strong, washing away everything that I agreed with , everything that I saw as honourable”  
“so now I’m a natural disaster” Nina said while raising a brow . He was terrible at this whole relationship thing Jesper was at least right about that.  
“Please Nina ,listen” he looked into the pale emerald green of her eyes.  
“I needed that Nina ,I need you” they both stepped closer ;his heart was galloping a frightened horse.  
“I’m afraid-“  
“Afraid of what Matthias” he paused for moment  
“Afraid that I will do it wrong , that I am doing this all wrong” Matthias swallowed this was hard to admit falling plainly into weakness was like falling into a nest of spiked thrones .  
“Oh Matthias” before Nina could say anything mo he ,wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. Nina’s lips touched his and it was as if everything was happening at once . 

One hand was on the side of her hip. The other was playing with the silky curls of her hair . Their tongues danced together and his heart raced even faster. He needed her ,all of her his mouth trailed down to the soft cream of her neck . He prayed that he was doing this right ,but the low whining sound from Nina answered his question. Her hand ran through his hair undoing the bun ,that he loosely tied in . Somebody coughed from what sounded like a long distance away. Matthias was to wrapped up in Nina to even care. That somebody coughed again this time Nina pulled apart . To Matthias’s dismay ,a whole crowd of people were watching them. Their eyes shocked ,mouths hung open and others faces were faintly flushed as they watched the event that just took place. He turned to Nina  
“Did you know people were watching” a sly grin crept up her face .  
“Maybe” Radmakker approached them. His voice was full of surprise .  
“Children if you wish to-“  
The wizzing,sizzling sound of fireworks exploding filled the room. A wave of chatter erupted,Radmakker looked as confused as the rest of the students . He turned and looked at Cornelius Smeet ,and both of them headed to the door” .  
Spontaneously students started to rush for the door wanting to see what all the fuss was about .  
“Well, at least Jesper and wylan were on time” Nina said while they were both were pushed and shoved. Matthias shook his head. He tried to Imagine what uncle Brum would think of him ,Brum has done a lot for him over the year supported him fed him. But he couldn’t let his hatred rule over him anymore.   
“Let’s go before the fireworks are over” said Mathias  
Nina smiled and that same galloping feeling raced through him. 

He offered her his arm and they both made their way out the hall. With Nina by his side he couldn’t care less .


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if Jesper was reading Wylan’s mind , he pulled Wylan into a tight embrace .  
> “Don’t worry merchling we will make it out just fine” Jesper’s hand tracing wylan’s jaw .

Chapter 5 Wylan Prove you wrong Wylan was amazed by all the the bright lights around the room . He couldn’t help thinking about how they were made . how much energy did they take up ? As usual questions were pinging around Wylans head . His mother used to ask him everyday “what thoughts are playing in your head my beautiful boy” . She had always used to say that to him he remembered the late nights that bled into early mornings staring out the window in deep thought . His mother used to watch him sometimes they just sat there together in complete silence, watching the inky night sky that turned into a pale yellow sun. Or the nights they lay down talking about the Constellations ,science , music art anything . She was there for everything until she was gone . The morning that Wylan woke up he thought it was going to be another usual day . His father at this time was slowly trying to edge him into business life so he could continue the Van Eck empire . Wylan pretended that is what he wanted to be just like his father . His parents both knew that he was struggling to read . Every time Van Eck brought up the issue his mother was there to defend him . He remembered coming out of his tutor lesson another disappointing response . When his tutor finally Left his fathers anger flared up . “Why is it so hard for you to read Wylan” “I’m trying-“ “Well try harder , what will I do when all of the government comes and I show them what kind of son I have . A soft child who can’t even read his own name” his fathers face was a anger coloured red . The only thing that Wylan could to do was to squat low and let his father bark in his face . That’s all he could do ,simply because what his father was saying was true . He heard gentle foot steps patting there way down the stairs he tried his best to pay attention to that than his fathers shouting . “Jan” they both looked up to see his mother the late afternoon noon light highlighting every curve and line of her face . The damp deep aurbun of her hair shining mixed with golden strands . Her wet curls loosely falling around her face . “Now what’s all this fuss about” “Wylan is still struggling May” “You must give it time jan ,if you force him he won’t learn a single word” Wylan saw as his fathers demeanour soften . Warmth and understanding radiating out her . “It’s ok Wylan go off to bed now” his father simply nodded at him reaching for a bell to call for the servants . Wylan walked out , a maid leading him up to his to room . The only thing that was on his mind was that he was a failure and utter disappointment . And deep down he knew that his “issue” wasn’t going to get any better . //////////////////////////~~~~~~~///////////////

Right this moment he was being dragged out the ballroom by Jesper . Apologising for every person they bumped into . He was happy to be here happy to be away from his overly large house and his aggressive father. “Shouldn’t we be more inconspicuous” asked wylan “Look around Wylan everybody is too busy to care , too busy drinking ,too busy kissing which reminds me we have a lot of catching up to do” Wylan could feel his face heating . He had no idea how Jesper could make him blush so much. Even though the dregs were at a party they all knew it was a job too Wylan didn’t care much for the money he had enough of that . He just wanted to be apart of something being with the dregs made him feel needed that he could finally make use of himself . Every time Wylan took on another job with the dregs he felt like he was exploding a small bomb right in his fathers business . Even though Van Eck didn’t know it was him every time council members came to his house he overheard them squabbling about unexpected money loss from their bank accounts . Or important files being stolen . Wylan always had to stifle a laugh or hide a small smile.

Wylan breathed in heavily letting the cool night air fill his lungs . Entering is respiratory system. This job should be easy they had done worse jobs before. But why did this one seem so much more - dangerous . Maybe because he was so close to his dads business partners Cornelius Smeet was a teacher who taught law and business. He had close connections with his father apparently they even went to a school together . If his father ever found out what he had been doing for past 6 months . Only Ghezen knew what his father would do . Even though wylan and a clear idea what his father was capable of . Plus he had experienced it many times before As if Jesper was reading Wylan’s mind , he pulled Wylan into a tight embrace . “Don’t worry merchling we will make it out just fine” Jesper’s hand tracing wylan’s jaw . “But Jesper you know what my father will do” Jesper’s grip tightened round his hands. “Look at me Wylan” lightning cracked through his storm grey eyes. “Kaz has run over this plan more than 10 times , inej came yesterday to block out the security system and if your father ever lifts a finger you promised to tell me .” Wylan turned away there were times when his father had gotten drunk and taken his frustration out on Wylan even more . The next day he had bruises on his neck and face . He had to use some of Alys make up to cover up the bruising . “We don’t have much time Jesper” Jesper opened his mouth to say something but then closed . Wylan let out a sigh of relief in his head , he didn’t want to talk about his father not on a night like this . Jesper took up the shovel and started to dig . His lean muscles put in action , his brown skin gleaming under the moon . Wylan’s heart stuttered again . He unzipped his back pack putting the pieces of the fireworks together . There were 9 different powders that they had to set off . Just enough to keep the crowd excited . He picked u the first fire work him and Jesper made .

Wylan remembered sitting in the science lab making the fireworks , he knew that if he got caught his father would ship him off to a boarding school in the country miles from Ketterdam but he didn’t want that . He gently shook the firework hearing the pyrotechnic stars (pellets) rattle in the shell . This one would burn a reddish purple, rubidium nitrate. It burned nicely in the night sky , but still wasn’t his favourite. He labelled the fireworks by colour , he could recall the soothing melody of Jesper’s voice as he read out to him the chemicals and compounds . He remembered laughing as Jesper tried to say the right pronunciation. One by one Wylan took out each firework . Barium chloride green, sodium nitrate yellow , caesium nitrate indigo , calcium chloride orange and last bit not least Strontium carbonate it burnt an angry fiery red . He thought of everything , he had been through and how grateful he was too have found someone to find people who appreciated him for his wrongs and his rights. To know there were people by his side . It reminded him of how is mother always used to sing to him a sweet little lullaby.

_I will be with you up and down the mountain Through the storms ,_

_through the pain My hand will be there to hold yours My fingers to wipe away your tears_

_My arms will be there to hold you so tight And everything will be alright with you in my arms my dear Stay in my arms my dear there will be nothing to fear_

_And in the morning I will be there to hold you all over again_

. He could feel his eyes filling up with tears as he remembered his mother . she wasn’t here to sing him any more songs ,to stroke his hair to talk to him about constellations and planets . He remembered the first few weeks after his mother’s death. It was so sudden and saddening he was about 10 years old when he needed his mother the most . “Are you ready?” the memory of wylan’s mother vanished in puff of smoke . Wylan quickly blinked back his tears , not wanting Jesper to see him cry. “Yes I’m ready” Wylan took the fireworks in his hand and placed them in the pit. “Use barium chloride nothing wrong with a little bit of green. Jesper’s voice was full with joy as usual. But Wylan could only respond with a weak smile . He started to set up taking the matches from his pocket Lining all the rockets up . “‘May I do the honers ”

“Sure why not” three swift strikes of the match against the box and a dazzling bright light shunned in Jesper’s hand. “Now this is where the real party begins” “Wait Jesper, it might not work If this fails I ruin everything”

“Merchling, my dear cherry cheeks , my sweet-“

“ Don’t you ever call me cherry cheeks again” Wylan said

half joking half serious. “ you need to stop doubting yourself , you have done so many great things . Stop thinking you need your fathers approval for everything. If Kaz can trust you so do this you can. all you need to do is believe in yourself” Jesper’s gaze fell to Wylan’s lips and Wylan felt his cheeks go red . He squirmed under Jesper’s intensive stare. “If I was you I suggest you light that rocket Before that match burns out” Wylan’s voice was low . Then the spell was broken , pity they were on a job he would have liked to see were that one look could have lead to. Jesper lit the rocket then a sizzling , wizzing sound erupted the air exploding in a bright green . “ wow it actually worked” exclaimed Wylan “Of course it did, you made it” Jesper winked Wylan and Jesper both started setting off the fireworks.

By now they could head cheers and shouts people amazed by the beautiful arrays of colours . I did This thought Wylan this is my creation. “ you really did it Wylan “I- I guess I did” Wylan couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face. Before he would take another breath Jesper cupped his nape and brought there lips together in a crushing kiss . Passion rushed through him , his heart blasting , erupting , overflowing . They were a flame that would never die out . It was fiery and hot his lips were sore and bruised in the best way possible. Wylan could feel Jesper’s teeth sink into his neck ; as he let out a hiss he could head footsteps. He pulled away instantly . “ we need to go NOW” Wylan said in an urgent whisper . Jesper nodded grabbing the remaining rockets , his eyes scanned for the hidden door covered in leaves. They both made there way through the door just in time before Cornelius Smeet arrived . Jesper and Wylan both waited for the shouts to fade off . “Let’s get out of here” said Jesper with a grin . Wylan nodded turning on his flashlight on his phone and handing it over . From here they would follow the passage way what would lead them out to to the front where all of the other students would be . Wylan’s hand found Its way to Jesper’s it was warm and comforting . Steadily they moved through the passage . He actually done it he didn’t his father’s approval all he needed were the people around him. He’d found another way to prove his father wrong .


	6. Six feet under

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There eyes meet again , she was standing under the gas lamp the light shone against her bronze skin ,tendrils falling against her forehead effortlessly. ////////
> 
> It’s been a while sorry things go busy again I added alot of backstory to do with Kaz hopefully another inej chapter. R&R and as always Enjoy

Chapter 6 Kaz  
6 feet under  
Graphic scenes are mentioned ,chapter Takes place after the group part)  
~~~~  
Kaz exhaled, preparing himself for the job at hand . People were already starting to look woozy. Perfect the more punch people drank the less likely they would remember or even care about there surroundings . _“Fools_ ” Kaz thought, if only these people knew what he knew about them ; thanks to inej he knew most of there secrets things people were ashamed of , things they did late at night when they thought nobody was watching or listening. Kaz made himself on top . He did deals too. If you wanted alcoholic beer for a party Kaz was more than happy to supply you ... as long as it was the right price . Cigarettes, Jurda if you had to pull an all nighter, matches , booze. And he could hack into the system to easily change grades . But Kaz didn’t get to that position so easily . Per Haskell gave him his platform. He could say that he was some what grateful even though Kaz was the one who brought the money to the old mans door . It wouldn’t last for long though in a couple more years he wouldn’t have to worship or work for Haskell any longer .

Kaz tapped his cane on the wooden floor getting Matthias and Inej’s attention. Inej his mind had easily wandered off to her “stick to the plan Kaz” .  
“Let’s get this job done” Kaz heard Matthias mumble about the job , Nina and everything thing else the big Fjerdan didn’t like.  
“ if you’re going to moan about everything you can just stay here , I am not letting you and your unresolved ‘issues’ so to speak jeopardise the plan” Kaz’s voice was bitter .  
“I’m not moaning” grumbled Matthias  
Kaz just ignored him , he acknowledged inej her back was straight and poised the gentle waves of her hair falling past her shoulders and down her back . Her lips were tinted a slight pink . And then he walked mixing in with the students he pushed passed all of them giddy . He could feel a cold serpent snake of sweat slither down his back . He refused the memory of crushed bodies covered in concrete, faces powdered white to enter is mind . He could still hear the the muffled screams of women , children , young boys like him and Jordie stuck under the factory’s rubble . Only the broken walls and brick could hear there unanswered pleas for help.

They made there way up the spiral staircase . The bodies had lessened slightly but Kaz still felt uneasy. He didn’t need to turn around to know that inej was behind him . She was a shadow figure easily gliding through each dimension. Kaz grimaced when he saw Oomen’s wide shiny forehead glistening like a new moon . His fish lips seemed to swallow the poor girl, engulfing her in his sickening embrace . But she seemed to be enjoying herself just fine . Another reason why Kaz couldn’t understand people . Good people, Bad people and the people in between all ran the same way people were like car engine. Different but all had the same properties to make it run. Loyalty only went so far harder to manipulate but still had its purposes . Greed , pride and pain were the easiest to target he could control people’s emotions like a puppet master and just like that Kaz sat back watching his play unfold and see all the hard work he put into it pay off . He watched as inej placed a reassuring hand on Matthias back her voice steady .  
“Time isn’t waiting on us Wraith”  
“ comforting a friend isn’t a crime Kaz”  
“But hacking into the school system is let’s go” inej raised her eyebrows and Kaz watched as her nimble fingers ran over the patch that was left in the wall she pulled on the thick gold string . The rope ladder rolled down he had no idea how the Merchants managed to climb up here . The task seemed beyond the merchants pampered lifestyle; Kaz guessed that there must be some secret door somewhere but it would be to obvious and they simply didn’t have the time. He stepped back letting inej go up she mock curtsied him . Kaz just glared at her there were no time for fake manners .She climbed up the rope ladder easily gripping onto it like a spider crawling around its Webb . He could feel his spine tense as inej vanished into the dark .

Every step he took brought him closer to his revenge on Pekka Rollins , each plan , each late night the pain would be all worth it in the end . For what Rollins did to Him and Jordie the thing was it wasn’t any old factory . Kaz closed the trap door watching Matthias face and the lights fade from view .  
~~~~

Inej had found a gas lamp and pulled the string ,Light flooded the room . Kaz scanned it ,wasn’t massive but it was still quite large for a loft room. Neatly packed boxes and large drawers laid out . Names of businesses associations and people who attend Ketterdam high all in one room,so many clueless pigeons Kaz thought. Finally his eyes landed on the computer.  
“So how may I be of your assistant Kaz” he turned around , inej had propped herself up on the window ledge the rich brown of her eyes studied him closely.  
“Start checking the draws for any information, then move on to the boxes.”  
And then they set to work Kaz’s body instantly relaxed , his mind worked like clock work the job was his only focus. He could hear inej opening up the draws these were their best moments but also there worst . The longing to pull her close was desperate, to smell the sweet rosemary scent of her skin, there hands joined together just like normal teenagers would . But Kaz wasn’t normal and he doubt he would be anytime soon.

Kaz’s gloved fingers moved across the keyboard with ease . Breaking down the school fire wall was easy enough but he had other plans in mind . He took out the hacking device Wylan had made for him , the merchling had done a good job . Just as he was connecting the device to the computer her heard Inej say “Pekka Rollins is opening up a new Restaurant ” Kaz stopped short Pekka Rollins he could feel the singe of the angry white flame that had burned inside of him for years . Inej continued on “It’s meant to feature a grand gambling den on the 2nd floor and will be serving a mixture of Kaleish and Kerch food”  
“And where is this going to be” he asked wearily as if he was walking across a lake full of ice.  
“Where the old factory was , the one that collapsed eight years ago” Kaz’s pulse stopped again his heart hammering in his ears . This time he couldn’t extinguish the scorching white flame, that spread across his body like wildfire . Inej’s voice had faded away into nothing. He was no longer at the party . He was back with his brother walking through the factory doors not knowing that death was waiting for them both.  
~~~~~

Kaz walked hand in hand with Jordie down the cobblestoned streets. The bitter winter air pushing against there flushed faces. Fog casted a grey misty blanket across the sky.Cars honking, people shouting , running or trying to rush to work or catch a train. Kaz wasn’t used to this life he remembered the cab that took them from the farm to the ferry ride ; the fields disappearing from view and a large sign saying **SOLD** outside their porch.  
.Jordie kept going on and on about finding a job and how he was going to make it big one day. Kaz didn’t care much as long as he got a big mug of hot chocolate his brother could do as he pleased. Then they stopped short. “Yes Jordie”  
“Kaz it isn’t going to be easy at first the money isn’t going to last forever;but if I can find a job save hard enough we can be kings living in one of those fancy mansions” Jordie pointed towards the Geldstaart. Kaz couldn’t see much but even from here he could see the high pointy peaks of the merchants mansions and penthouses.  
“We can be kings” Kaz’s voice was barley a whisper full of wonder and hope.  
“Kings Kaz , now it’s time for you to go to school”  
“I don’t want to” moaned Kaz  
“But you have to now shut up and just go inside”  
“Fine” mumbled Kaz as the school bell rang he saw kids rushing inside. All pushing and shoving past him I wish da was here his heart throbbed with longing for his father . He missed the wild flowers that grew outside his porch , the fresh smell of rain water on the long green grass. But the farm was gone and so was his da . The little remains left from his body were burned into ashes and when him and Jordie got on the ferry taking them to Ketterdam they poured the ashes out into the sea. “ _It’s better this way” Jordie had told him . “That way his spirit is following us so he will always be with us”_  
“Really”  
“Really , now let’s stop talking about da and focus on the future”

Now Kaz sucked in a breath summoning all his courage like some sort of wizard . He looked behind him to see Jordie waiting impatiently . Kaz took one more breath and walked inside .

The trouble started when Jordie saw the business poster.  
“I’m telling you Kaz this is it our big break”  
Jordie’s voice was full of excitement as he lead him to Jakob Hertzoons office. Mr Hertzoon explained to them how if they put a small amount into his clothes making business they would receive double maybe triple the price they put in. “Although I don’t want to force you boys into anything you can’t handle;it isn’t an easy business” Jordie just smiled his big confident smile. The more Kaz looked into it it was just arrogance . Did Pekka See that smile knowing that he already won before they even started. Of course he did .  
“There is no such thing as easy business, me and my brother can handle it”  
“I respect your optimism son” Kaz just stared at them both in awe unaware what was happening .  
“So is it a deal”  
“It’s a deal” they both shook , if only he knew that , that hand shake would be the beginning of all there troubles. But maybe it was like trying to prevent the inevitable.  
No matter how hard you try you still end up at the bottom of the pit ; that you tried so hard to climb back up from.

They had been to visit Hertzoon’s factory more than once by now . On each trip he would show Jordie how his business ran. Young children around Kaz’s and Jordie’s  
age seemed to be working happily . Kaz had spent most his time talking-to Hertzoons fake daughter who came along to her fathers factory almost everyday. She was the same age as Kaz and loved all the things Kaz did. Everything was working out perfectly . He almost forgot about he father and the farm- almost.  
“This is it boys in about two weeks time we will be getting a huge haul” Hertzoon’s voice was filled with joy as if he hadn’t signed on with any other business partners before. Jordie was so pleased with himself he added more money on hoping that he would make a big profit .

As soon as they walked out of the factory building Jordie picked Kaz up and said. “it’s happening we’re finally going to be Kings” Kaz could see the excitement burning in his eyes and that same flame passed onto Kaz. “What do kings do?”  
“Well Kaz they eat whatever they want , sleep whenever they want and people listen to them and do as they say”  
“But guess what we’re upgrading and do you know what happens after that ”Kaz shook his head  
“They celebrate” then Jordie ran down the street with Kaz calling after him .

The two weeks had passed quickly Kaz ended up being the top in his Computer class and maths class. He enjoyed sitting at the park bench sipping on his hot chocolate talking about the future with Jordie. They ate buchtel for desert and sausage rolls with mashed potatoes.  
The vanilla paste still lingered on his tongue as his feet dangled above the bridge watching the lights cascade across the murky canal. “One more day Kaz and it’s ours” Jordie said smiling . Hours later they arrived at there hotel at the lid ;Kaz remembered wrapping up warm in his quilt his heart warm. He felt safe ,maybe his father’s spirt did follow them here watching over them telling Jordie to make the right decisions. But Obviously he was wrong about that.

Wind whistled through the slightly opened window. Kaz looked across him to find Jordie already dressed and ready. He remembered his brother forcing him to wear the business style outfit that he spent almost all there money on. So he buttoned up his black shirt and attempted to tie his crimson coloured tie. After about ten minutes Jordie finally decided to help him ,looping the tie around in directions Kaz couldn’t understand. They sat at the breakfast bar he could remember how confident his brother looked in his overly expensive suit . How Rollins must be collided up some where counting all of there money . Thinking how lucky he was to con two stupid pigeons. After his fifth cup of hot chocolate they made their way to Jakob Hertzoons fake factory . To their surprise they were shocked how quiet the area was . Kaz looked at Jordie for direction “it’s fine I can still see some workers in the factory he’s just late”. So they simply walked in they knocked at Hertzoon’s office door ,a painful silence wrapped around them like a tight bow. They peered through the slightly opened blind ;the chairs were neatly stacked up, the coffee machine turned off the windows shut and bolted. As if nobody ever came to the office. It remind Kaz of Mr Hoffmanns computer class .He’d showed them how easily things could be erased on a computer, how what you had written could vanish into the cyber space floating away into nothing. Kaz begged Mr Hoffmann to let him stay after class to understand more about programming, to dig deeper inside a computer. And now when they stood there helpless looking into the empty room all Kaz thought of how all there dreams were floating away into nothing.

After what felt like an hour Jordie finally built up the courage to go up to the factory floors. “We can just ask one of the workers where he is” they climbed up the thick steps. By the time they made it, their legs were sore and weak. As soon as they Pushed open the door the smell of chemicals filled Kaz’s nostrils and burned his eyes. The scent of it was so strong that Kaz had to cover his nose. “Excuse me?” Jordie asked, the worker just ignored him . The women’s face was sickly pale sweat running from her brow., Red lines spread across the whites of her eyes. “Um we are looking for Mr Hertzoon , do you happen to know where he is ?” she didn’t even look at Jordie once , she was completely brain dead. Kaz could feel the fear tightening his chest . “Whats up with this place?” He wanted to be back at his fathers farm more than anything.”i’ll ask around” Jordie said he could almost smell his brothers fear. Kaz looked around and saw a massive crack that zigzagged across the wall. He ran his finger across it in curiosity , then he heard the sound of pipes bursting .

Everyone looked up alert Kaz scanned the room for His brother then spotted him . Jordie will know what to do ,he always knows what to do. Then the ground started to shack , Kaz tired to get up but then fell right down again . His chest clenched tightly ,he screamed his brothers name ,but it couldn’t be heard over the screams of the other workers . He just managed to dodge the machines that fell on the floor barley missing his head . Workers shoved passed him ,a stampede . A young boy who was slightly older than Kaz tried pulling open the door;suddenly out of no where a block of white plaster came crashing down on his head. More screams erupted and Kaz could only stare at the boys battered body . He leaped over the rubble trying to get past all the mess . Kaz saw Jordie and this time they both saw looked at other;relief washed over him . At that moment the ground shook again “Jordie!!” But it was no use the ground opened up and Kaz was free falling down deeper and deeper .  
He couldn’t even think to scream . He couldn’t even breath , his arms outstretched trying to grab onto something anything as he fell further into the dark mouth of the factory walls . His mind was spinning so fast , too fast. A whirlpool of darkness until the world went black.

The next time he woke up his ears were ringing and could feel blood from the side of his head . He tried to bring his mind to rights and figure where the hell he was. The memory came back as sharp as a blade pierced into skin, the factory , Jakob Hertzoon, Jordie . Kaz attempted to get up but pain exploded over his right leg added by heavy weight . A mans body was laying on top of it , his face was unrecognisable . His eye was half gouged out blood and veins spilled across his cheek. The mans hair was covered in white plaster ;Kaz gagged how long had he been here? Minutes, Hours , days? He closed his eyes begging praying that his body would just shut down. That this was just a terrible nightmare and his brother was alive and even if he was dead he would go with him through the pearly gates. Kaz waited for death to take over him he waited for what felt like hours but his soul hadn’t parted from his body. Why am I still here? He decided to make his first move ;his tongue felt like it had been dipped in concrete he tried to regulate his breathing , his heart tightening . Kaz flexed his fingers slightly, checking for any damage , they were badly bruised but weren’t broken. Letting his fingers move he brushed against something cold ,hard ,dead . He flinched realising that he was lying on top of a decaying body.i need to get out of here and fast. Kaz sat up thinking of what he could do his mind went back to the suit Jordie had got for them ;without a second thought he ripped the sleeve of his shirt . Adding pressure to his leg hurt like hell but it had to be done he wrapped it three times ignoring the continuous pain. Then he started to move he decided to leave his tie behind so then he would know if he was just going around in a circle. Before he left he mumbled prayer under his breath “please let Jordie be ok he’s all I’ve got ,please” . He looked back at the bodies and cringed there was nothing Kaz could do so he moved on.

The nest of decaying bodies got bigger he was tangled in a forest full of rot, full of death. Not only was his leg throbbing but his head was pounding too it had stopped bleeding but he knew he had to get stitches. Kaz tried to cough but it came out as a rasping sound . He listened for any sign of life, moaning could be heard so he went towards it maybe there’s people still alive and then I can find Jordie . Kaz looked around Jordie had to be around here somewhere ;he studied the bodies the majority were dead . One of the poles were impelled through the workers body his guts seeping out of him like a smashed pie. But he kept moving a crimson coloured tie caught his eye Jordie . His heart pounded hope, a flower blooming through a barbaric winter . But as he grew nearer he knew something was wrong ; rot had already moulded its way onto Jordie’s skin. His eyes were glassy ,his whole face was covered in plaster he looked like a ghost and even though Kaz knew he was dead he had to check for a pulse for any sign of life . Kaz felt along his chest searching for his already deceased heart. Jordie’s Chest felt wrong it was solid and cold Kaz pushed off the remaining blocks that were on his brother . And rested his head on his chest goodbye Jordie he whispers falling into a deep slumber.

He woke up to a low rumbling sound and the smell of dank water entered the air . The pipes burst from the walls and everything seemed to happen at once Kaz levitated and so did the other bodies whirling in the air images of corpses showcased right in front of his eyes . Without another thought he grabbed jordie’s brother and used his body as a float kicking his legs dogging pieces of broken glass . He saw the gap that lead out but to what? A new life Kaz had lost everything what was waiting for him but more suffering? But there was one thing that was waiting for him revenge and he was going to grab onto it with two hands .

He was so close ,he didn’t know how he got the strength , he pushed his body up and was half way through the gap .Kaz casted one more look at his brothers decaying body and Kaz let him go his body sinking down down down somewhere that the living could no longer be .Kaz opened his eyes and instantly closed them.Day light was everywhere it felt Like he was staring directly at the sun .He gasped his hand around his throat Trying to get as much oxygen in his lungs. Kaz’s eyes rolled back the last thing he saw was hands wrapping around his waist and being pulled towards an ambulance. Then the world flooded with darkness once more.  
~~~~~~~

Kaz woke up with sharp jab to his side for a few seconds he didn’t know where he was then he thought of Inej the job .  
“Kaz ,Kaz” her voice was barley a whisper it pained him to meet her gaze but he did . Although she looked coherent Kaz could see the fear that hid behind her eyes. He felt her hand on his thigh and instantly flinched his mind was still fresh with images of rotting bodies .

“There’s water” He didn’t reply her body moved gracefully towards the water dispenser. Inej didn’t even bother coming close and left the drink on the desk . Silence spread like wildfire burning Down the wall that kept them apart . That kept all the secrets and demons at bay.  
“What did Pekka do to you” hearing his name now sent flames burning in his body . There eyes meet again , she was standing under the gas lamp the light shone against her bronze skin ,tendrils falling against her forehead effortlessly. Inej’s eyes were wide , inky black that seemed to burn with intensity .

He broke there gaze focusing his eyes on the stacked boxes;”Pekka owned that factory,my brother died inside there” he hated showing her his weakness to see him like this was pitiful. But he knew she wouldn’t tell _“do you think that she would have some kind of loyalty to you. After all the things you’ve said and done his inner voice seemed to scoff at him don’t kid yourself”._  
“I’m sorry Kaz I-“  
“Apologies won’t bring my brother back to life” his voice was cold ,barbaric  
_“Vita dupa moarte”_ inej replied  
Kaz raised his brow “I’m guessing that’s a Suli proverb”  
“Just because your brothers dead ,doesn’t mean you have to die to”  
Kaz could just look at her ,she was pure holy she deserved better than a boy who resented touch after all she had been through she still had faith and hope . That things would somehow get better .  
“Let’s just get this job done wraith” she turned returning back to the storage boxes . “Oh and one more thing,Nina asked if you could change the dinner register to waffles”

Kaz sighed letting his fingers work across the keyboard .


	7. Let’s pretend we’re Numb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The music stopped . A distinct tap of cane on wood sent inej free falling into reality. Her back trickling with moist sweat her eyes darting frantically across the stage. Trying not to sound too afraid she opened her mouth “Who’s there” knots tightened around her stomach the sound grew louder. Squinting her eyes she saw a dark figure making its way towards the stage.  
> //////////-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/——  
> Haven’t updated in a while probably not going to update until after Christmas. But hope you all have a great holiday working in chapter 8 Jesper

Chapter 7 Inej  
Let’s pretend we’re Numb

Inej wasn’t sure what happened,she had never seen Kaz so frightened before . So panic stricken as soon as Kaz told her the brief information about his past all the dots connected;well not all of them but some . It was almost impossible to think that Kaz was just like every other child.Did he have parents? Was he always from Ketterdam?Who really is Kaz Brekker? But did anyone know she doubts Kaz even knows who he really is . Was it possible that dirty hands was having a panic attack. Fear lined every corner and line of his face while sweat ran down the side of his brow;as if he was frozen in time his eyes vacant he was the ghost of who he was.  
She watched as Kaz tapped his cane on the wall not long after the rope ladder came down. “You go first” his voice was hoarse he didn’t look at her but she heard shame in his words. With ease she slid down the ladder like water rolling down a cliff . For Kaz it was slightly harder even with one leg he seemed to move down easily enough. When she saw Matthias looking down at Nina she thought of her father she remembered the words of wisdom that he used to feed to her. “I really do miss you papa” hopefully one day should would be able to see her family again but even now she was grateful to still have had a small part of her child hood;even though it was cut short.

Memories of her and her cousins running down the coast picking up soggy lumps of sand and throwing them at each other were still fresh in her mind. She remembered getting scolded by her parents- well manly her mother.  
“But mama we were just having fun”  
“No buts Ralphie plays too ruff for you” inej flinched while her mother roughly pulled out the clumps of sand from her hair. “Mama but ivona always gets to play”  
“I said no buts”  
“Sotia mea you must understand our girl is growing up fast, she will have to be fighting off all the boys in a couple years” her father laughed wrapping his arm around her mother; she could feel the love they shared radiating out of them both. It filled Inej’s heart with joy, one day she hoped to share a connection so strong .  
The argument had ended she hugged both her parents her mother handed her a bar of rosemary soap “don’t forget to rub hard , your performing tomorrow night”

Even now whenever she saw a bar of rosemary soap in a store her heart throbbed for what she once had. Ever since then she always washed with the same soap somehow it made her feel closer to her mother. Inej watched as Matthias raced down the steps shoving people left right and centre. they casted him dirty looks while their drinks spilled onto the floor. A smile curled on her lips it looked like the Fridgen was willing to break down an ice wall just to get to Nina. Inej could sense Kaz’s presence not far behind her.

She didn’t know what to say what was there to say? Please say something, don’t say anything. Her mind battled of which was best scanning the dance floor she saw Nina and Matthias in a passionate lip lock while the students mouths were wide open in shock. “Looks like Matthias and Nina made up” Kaz was beside her now spontaneously they both turned their heads his face was as hard as stone ,his eyes as black as coal . His jaw was set straight his dark brows curving slightly while he gazed directly at her. Not one part of him was misplaced or over done;the apical lines of his tailored suit curved around his lean frame. “Come” and that’s all he said with the crows cane in his hand as he limped down the spiral staircase. Inej let a brief sigh out her mouth.hesitantly she followed Kaz down unaware where he was going.

They were out of the ballroom now and had seemed to end up at the back of the Building. A night bird chirped in the distance a high note of suspense;they didn’t bother saying anything Kaz pushed back the thicket of leaves to revel a black rusty ladder that was attached to the wall. The roof Kaz started to climb for Inej this was an easy task she had done worse jobs before;listening in on council meetings, stealing papers from the head teachers office,mercers mansions and more. But for Kaz and his bad leg she wasn’t sure how this was going to work . Gripping onto the vines Kaz hauled himself up step by step he slipped slightly but then regained his balance. In a matter of a few seconds Kaz had secured himself onto the roof she guessed the whole point was for her to follow him; inej wasn’t one to play along with Kaz’s games because somehow he always ended up being on top before she even started . She had seen it at the gambling dens the crow club and business men giving up all their money into Kaz’s eager hands.

But still she gripped onto the vines pushing herself up this was the time when she longed for a leather slippers. To Inej’s dismay Nina denied anything work related to be worn no baggy mom jeans , nothing to dark or plain and no hoodies . She liked the simple ness of her work how she had the option to always say no and she did. With Tante Helen that was a whole different story she had come to Kerch as a forgein exchange student her parents said it was good for her . Inej could never blame what happened to her on her parents;they tried to do what was best for her and she was grateful. It was the system who black mailed young girls to believe that they had some hope of a better life .

When inej had hauled herself up she was Surprised by the view, she had expected to see a grey and brown landscape with the cities Pollution creating a thick layer of fog in the sky. But tonight the sky was clear the moon was full and wide the high peaks of the business buildings stood out against the deep blue of the night. In the far distance she could hear the honk of cars ;The laughter of people young and old enjoying the sins and pleasures of the city.  
For so long she had felt bitterness to Ketterdam ,this place that had taken so much from her. It took her parents, her spirit and the innocent idea that the world was fair and everyone got what they deserved. But it gave her a purpose and she was forever grateful for the little she blessings she got each day Kaz had saved her from a life of performing . So she was grateful. Even for him.

She thought of all their lives entwined into one through pain and suffering. Wylan had been neglected by his father for his inability to read, Nina lost her family due to the war against Fjerda and Mathias the same. Jesper was still struggling with his gambling addiction and Kaz well inej had already looked into the murky sadness of Kaz’s early life.

She sat beside him not too close but not too far ether inej had know idea what torture Kaz had been through in the factory but she did have some ideas. Inej gazed at Kaz her eyes ran to the leather gloves that he always wore she had seen his hands before they were long and thin as is they were built for only one purpose; lock picking and card games. Inej had likes to think she had been the only one to have seen them a ,Rarity she didn’t wnat to think into it too much . She had already been stupid enough to have even a small amount of feeling for Kaz Brekker; inej had tried to remember each cruel heartless thing he had done but she couldn’t, she wouldn’t believe that Kaz was just a ruthless bastard that people made him out to be.  
Inej watched as the wind rustled through the dark waves of his hair the sides neatly trimmed . The pale scar that cut across his lips; he was a mystery warped out of black glass and misery. She could feel his eyes on her now ,cheeks burning she turned away from his intensive gaze. The wind slapped against her arms biting her skin,punishing her for not bringing a coat. She couldn’t force him to show affection for her .But she wouldn’t spend the rest of her life playing the guessing game . They both know that time is running out;graduation was coming up and so was the chance of inej paying off Haskell. But for now inej was willing to pretend that everything was normal and that they were timeless .

~~~~~~~~~~

Inej’s ferry had docked finally after two painful weeks away from her parents. The first night hadn’t seemed that bad there were people from all different Nations chatting and talking. The moonlight shone through the windows like a large disco ball Inej was looking for a quite corner to hide in she had only taken a few possessions, clothes and a small amount of kurge to get her by. Taking a seat behind a kalelish group she fumbled though the small hand knitted bag her mother made her;her hand brushed against the photo that her family took together.

Inej sucked in a breath while she gazed at the photo it filled her with equal joy and sadness just staring at it. She wouldn’t be able to see her parents for the next year but she had vowed she would send letters twice a month to see how they were coping maybe even send them money if she could .  
Her mind wasn’t on the rocking ferry she was there at the beach with them laughing and smiling . She remembered her father grabbing her and spinning her around salts spray spitting on her face the gentle spring evening showing its subtle beauty.  
They ate Papanași and Sarmales as they sat at the rocky beach . “I am going to miss you papa”  
“ I will miss you too my floare dulce” inej looked out at the now setting sun .The sky blushed a mellow pink while the yellow yolk of the sun disappeared from view . A light breath escaped her lips while she watched her tired uncle chase after her over excited cousins .  
“I got you something” her father said ,he handed her a black box with a silver ribbon wrapped around it .  
“You didn’t have to get me anything papa” he shook his head and gestured for her to open it . Carefully she unwrapped the gift box and lifted the lid she pulled out an i pod . It wasn’t what she expected at all the suli didn’t believe in technology as much as the Ravkans or any other nations did . She didn’t know what to say it looked expensive it was a deep purple simple but exactly what’s she needed.  
“Papa i can’t take this it’s-“  
“ your going to be 15 soon my dear your going to Kerch going to do what you love just do us proud. You can’t stay with you old pa forever now” Inej took in her father’s features his jet black her swept back from his brow which was now lined with grey . The small wrinkles which gathered around the corner of his mouth his eyes were the only thing that hadn’t aged they were wide and a deep set brown. A tear fell from her eye which rolled down her cheek.  
“Don’t cry” she placed her head on his chest and cried even more her father didn’t say a word just held her tightly until all the sadness had faded from her soul.

“What’s all of this” her mother said while climbing up the last step to the cliff she moved just like a proper acrobat would delicately but with purpose.  
“I can’t do it mama I can’t leave you, any of you maybe you could come” her mother shook her head and smiled .  
“ some adventures you must take on your own”  
“But-“  
“I know I have heard rumours about that city but you are a ghafa you have a spirt of a lioness;I know you are stronger than a city” Inej’s eyes has sparked at her mothers belief in her it calmed her fears down slightly . Dancing was her dream but there was still a budding fear that just performing with a family on a a small stage wasn’t enough ,she wasn’t a rich academy girl who could dance five hundred dances but she believed that she was worth something.

I’ll be fine just follow the guide book and find Tante Helen . That name some how reassured her that she would be ok on the website it described her as a kind hearted women who was strict but pushed out the best in girls to dance and do their best .

When the ferry finally pulled into Kerch the cutting cold air instantly bit at her skin she couldn’t help thinking “ _what kind of spring weather is this?”_ Briefly she examined the city smokes rising in the air . She felt steady now that she was off the boat girls all pushed and shoved against her as there names were called out . “Inej ghafa” she followed the voice to a tall women with thick blonde hair and feline eyes pushing through the crowd she made her way to Tante Helen . Inej gazed upward in awe she wore brown snake print pants with high heeled boots the glowing diamond choker that was tied around her neck;it was beautiful. But yet oddly hypnotic . Her spirit quivered at the women but what did she really expect ? Two guards or henchmen stood beside her.Faces plain and straight not one slip or facial expression lit there faces their muscular bodies stood like statues eyeing the crowd. The mysterious women continued to read off names it felt like forever inej was standing there until about fifteen girls had huddled around her clutching onto their coats ,then they started to move .

As soon as they entered closer into the city the more of its reputation it started to live up . Markets sellers shouted at the top of their lungs in rowdy voices advertising their fresh fruits and supplies “ 5 kurge for hot potato’s get your hot potatoes now!”  
A woman with knotted hair and yellow teeth exclaimed “blankets ,blankets ten kurge for three” . She was surprised how people seemed to just open a path for them to walk through “ they ether have respect for her , or it could be fear inej thought her mind was in rails each word which had been yelled seemed to squish her into a little tiny box . _What would papa be doing now sleeping just getting up and preparing for today’s show?_ No she refused to dwell on her old life this was only temporary she could send letters and see her family soon .

One of the guards made a sharp bird call they all stopped there attention on Tante Helen . “Welcome to The Menagerie” her hands extended out a angel opening out its wings . “You shall being staying here and working here , you shall do as your told I only teach and train the best students all I ask of you is to follow the house rules and if not there will be severe conscience” her eyes narrowed taking all of them in.  
“Colbot , Duard Escort these girls to the washing chambers and meet me in my office” they nodded there heads separating the girls in half one group went right the other went left . Some girls whispered quietly to themselves inej could only pick up small bits and pieces of there conversation but the majority of them seemed excited this was the one of the most famous dance schools in Kerch . But one girl had a different point of view “I’m telling you this isn’t a proper dance school “  
“Don’t be stupid Bridget”  
“But it’s true I don’t want to do this”  
“Suck it up we are lucky we even got in,you heard what she said” the kaleish girl sighed and simply lowered her head what did she mean this wasn’t a proper dance school?

The wash room was not what she expected at all two bore faced women with clipboards and a towel faced them all. They read out names, again she felt like she was apart of a factory as if they were not human just dolls that needed to be washed and cleaned for ‘play time’ . When they read out her name her heart clenched with fear “Inej Ghafa ,last call Inej ghafa” awkwardly she stepped forward. Cold fingers dug into her flesh dragging her along to a dinky looking tub hands pulled and gripped onto her clothes her coat was thrown on one side, her shoes top were all gone. The only thing that was left was a frightened stripped girl shivering in the cold bath. While one woman scrubbed at her skin the other one assessed her body with hard eyes . “Athletic build ,pretty has the most gorgeous skin, but needs some meat she’s as flat as a pancake at miss Sue’s” each comment shrank Inej even more she had never been humiliated this much in her life . Her insides screamed for help pushing at every wall and part of her body begging for her soul to escape this nightmare .

After the washing had finished they handed her a small thin towel and told her to get dressed “you have five minutes your new clothes are on the bed” without another word she was pushed into the gloomy room.  
Inej walked down the stairs in a thin purple silk gown it was obvious the material was fake almost see through but the more she thought about it the more she realised that ,that was the whole point. Most of the girls wore the same expression of raw panic.F ,stay strong inej , deep breaths chin high, keep moving”. So she moved. Tante Helen stood ,going through there routine and rules . And there were many. But the three important rules were  
You must be perfect for your clients and your performance. Do not show any signs of emotions and act your part without fail. Last but not least no running. Tante’s eyes sucked all of them in her eyes held a bitterness that sparked unease inside inej.

The day was easy at first. They practised their routines , which manly including them pouting and showing their skin. Older girls who ranged about sixteen to twenty were there too. their clothes were even more revealing tassels covering their most intimate parts. They showed them how to dance, how to talk ,to whisper. “And whatever you do,don’t bring up your personal life” one of the older dancers said “Keep your mind in the present they want a play, give them a play”.

Day bleed into night the bar was full , Girls took orders corsets tight smiles large and plastic. Men of all likes ,threw coins and cash in the air eyeing the women hungrily . Inej wanted to be sick . She imagined meaty hands grabbing onto her ,touching her pulling her far far away. Looking at herself she didn’t know who she was . The corners of her eyes were dabbed with glitter ,her eyelids painted a faint lilac .

The clothing didn’t help either the silk swallowed her up. The corset was far too tight ,the dress was unbelievably short and itchy . She wanted to go home . But it wasn’t the time to cry ;she sighed lined up with the others lifting her head high she heard voices . Lots of voices. The lights went on and the hell began she fluttered her lashes pouted her lips copying the others seductive gazes towards the crowd . Men’s mouths dropped and one man in his mid thirties traced her with his eyes. Then it was over , all she wanted to do now was scrub her soul clean . But then , when she thought it was over it had started all over again.

That same man that had been watching her had summoned her from the parlour. Fear bit at her skin like rats nibbling on cheese.  
The man wasn’t gentle at all .  
In fact Inej had almost screamed salty,wet sadness rolled down her cheeks in silent fury. But that man still went on he was just like everyone else ended up being;a shapeless shadow that had so much power over her but meant so little to them.  
She tried running the burning city lights hypnotising her . It didn’t take long until Tante noticed she was missing. When Cobalt dragged her back to the menagerie the peacock had beat her until webs of darkness clouded her vision. The next time she woke up she was locked in the hole she was only given a cup of water and stale bread for a week.  
She never ran again instead she became what Tante Helen wanted her to be.She smiled Made low cunning sounds with her mouth,touched flirted . As long as she painted a lie.Not even Picasso was a match against inej . Nights went on and clients kept coming in.  
It was a repeat cycle of hell. Inej was not there the whispering sadness of her soul had floated,evaporated into nothing. She couldn’t feel the meaty hands grabbing at her skin.  
No not anymore.  
She was a blank paper,an object without a purpose or emotion a thing.

The first time she meet Kaz . It was something different entirely he was the key to her freedom and the lock to her love . He had taught her struggles and pains,how to get by each day someone who showed so little emotion . Had carved himself onto her and no matter how hard she tried to rid herself of him ;he was always going to be a part of her . Kaz had the power to touch inej without placing one single finger on her it was dark sorrow that had bound them together .

But the first time she saw him in that old run down theatre she knew who he was,everyone knew who Kaz Brekker was . The infamous young cone artist rising from beneath the dirt. The girls whispered about him constantly . “I wonder what’s hiding under those gloves”  
“He looks like the rough kinda guy in bed”. Inej couldn’t care for their useless chatter maybe this was an opportunity,she could make a trade. She had just managed to break off from the rest of the group it was 3am in the morning and the sun had refused to wake from its sleep. The faded wine coloured red of the old seats looked miserably at her . She scanned the empty auditorium the moth eaten curtains , this is all mine Inej thought in eager pleasure .

 

Inej took out her i pod linking the headphones to the device and let the Rhythm of the music carry her far far away . She was no longer in Kerch she was soaring through the sky her mind went back to when she was a child her father had strapped her into the invisible wires. The shocked voices of the crowd erupted as inej had jumped off the Ledge arms out stretched;Flapping her wings. She started off with floor work making her back completely straight then ran into a roundoff managing to land directly on her feet. At least twice a week she would come here to practise not for Tante Heleen she had taken the love of performing from her the only crowds that inej got were men. Who weren’t exactly there for the actually art of the play;it made her skin crawl the eyes of gawking men eyeing young girls .

She didn’t think of the beatings the scars the pain,the forced tattoo inked on her skin . No her focus wasn’t on that she was in the music it reminded her of one of the shows her mother made her preform pasăre destul de mică. An old Suli performance that translated into pretty little bird . “ you will look beautiful in the costume mi Cher”  
“ what if a fall mama”  
“Oh no dear you shall not fall tonight, tonight -you shall fly”

That’s exactly what she did at the top of the ledge she remembered the flower crown slightly slipping from her head ; giving the idea as if she was falling. Inej had jumped the crowd gasped but she continued the act and soared threw the air her mechanical wings opened up the invisible . When she was finished the crowd were stunned with silence . For a moment she thought she had done it all wrong but right after that an applause erupted, some of the women were crying dabbing their eyes with cotton handkerchiefs. Her eyes searched the crowd to see her father and mother clapping and smiling . Which followed by a whistle from Ralphie and her other cousins . Doing a final bow she could feel the pride wash over her she never wanted that night to end.

The music stopped . A distinct tap of cane on wood sent inej free falling into reality. Her back trickling with moist sweat her eyes darting frantically across the stage. Trying not to sound too afraid she opened her mouth “Who’s there” knots tightened around her stomach the sound grew louder. Squinting her eyes she saw a dark figure making its way towards the stage. Inej was smart enough to bring a sharp Kitchen knife it looked pitiful but it was better than nothing. She could do a quick slash across this- persons face and run for it .  
The stage light shone brighter interrogating the intruder. A boy? He looked slightly older than Inej,he wore a blood coloured waist coat his deep black hair pushed precisely back from his brow. Then her eyes wondered to the crows head cane ,it’s beady eyes glaring at her . Kaz brekker.  
She lifted her head but he didn’t move she remembered who he was;she’d seen him walk into Tante Helens office but he never came for the girls. But inej had secrets to trade .From drunken men giddy on lust,rich men who threw money in the air as if it was almost worth nothing. Edging closer to him a quick desperate question escaped her lips.  
I can help you.  
At that ,the boy turned his head and without a single word he limped off the stage and vanished like a puff of smoke .

Inej checked the time 3:45am the maids would be making rounds and the security system would be on soon. She would have to sprint over the rooftops .  
Reaching there just in time,she thought about how strange that boy was “maybe he didn’t want to talk to some random girl in a rundown theatre” . She shook her head falling into a dreamless sleep.

When she woke and started to follow off with the rest of the girls Tante Helen had called her to her office. “What more does this monster want from me” the only thing that Inej could think of is another beating. The long black rod was especially made for pain and she had experienced it far too many times.  
She waved her in.Helen had changed into a tight fitting emerald cocktail dress, her diamond choker shone like the moon and stars had moulded into one. “Well Inej looks like someone bought you” the words didn’t fully register in her mind.

“Me - but who?”  
“Some boy Kaz Brekker” then Inej noticed the boy from last night  
“ I don’t know what he wants to do with you- Maybe poor old Haskell wants something other than his liquor to keep him company at night” she laughed at the horrified look on her face.  
“Anyways all is all ,I got my money your nothing but useless garbage to me”  
“ are we done here” Inej looked up shocked to hear the raspy chords of Brekker’s voice.  
“Well the door is there for a reason eh” she gave Inej one more glance,before slamming the door shut. “Goodbye my little lynx”

Then Kaz and Inej were left alone in silence. So she asked the first question  
“Why -why did you buy me” again an object not a person a thing.  
“ I didn’t buy you ,I bought your talent Inej”  
“What talent you only saw me at-“  
“The run down theatre it was as if you were stealth I couldn’t hear your footsteps at all”  
“So where are you taking me”  
“To the Slat you shall be working for Per Haskell as a spy”  
“You will be gathering information and getting rid of enemies and making them.I have no plans of buttering this up for you Inej this is no easy life that your signing up for. Your trading a monster over a monster”.  
“ so you’re a monster”  
“ yes -there’s loads of monsters that run these streets and the peacock isn’t the only one” her eyes opened wide with shock he was lazily slagging off the Tante Helen. The person who had held so much power over her until this boy walked in.  
“But with the Dregs you always have the chance to say no” Inej thought for a moment her saying yes meant living a life of crime but it meant being free. Freedom was something she hadn’t tasted in a while . And walking away form Tante Helen?  
“I’ll take it” Kaz nodded his head.  
“Let’s find you some clothes” just as they were about to walk away he said something. “Oh and Inej don’t sneak up on me again”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****~~~~~~ ~~~~~

Now they sat so far apart but yet so close together,on the roof staring out at the painted sky. Nothing was happening, so she was going to make something happen.  
“Kaz” his head turned  
“What is it wraith” he didn’t use her real name it separated them even more.  
“ what happened to you Kaz, where were your parents. Did you not have anyone to protect you”  
“What do you think happened? Everyone left Inej and everyone leaves” his voice was full of enmity but it held something else the low begging sound of grief. If she could she would have crawled into his mind to put together the shattered broken glass of his heart. I can only push so much.  
Once again she focused on the white scar cutting across his upper lip. The sharp tailored lines of his gloves made to steal. She moved closer, his body solidified.  
He was locking himself up with hard iron and barbed wire the thought of giving up came to her. Men had spat in her face when she couldn’t perform perfectly. She’d been hit down multiple of times and risen back up with bloody bruises on her skin. Why wasn’t it any different for him? Inej couldn’t imagine what it would be like for him to lose his brother to be sucked back into the memory every-time he touched.  
Maybe she owned Kaz something after everything he done for her “he saved you Inej” . No, he paved the way for her but did not save her. She had to learn how to save herself she wouldn’t add anymore debt to her shoulders. “I will try at least one more time”

Then it happened one finger pressed against his jaw his face was cold from Either his blood or the harsh wind around them. Another finger brushed against the beating pulse against his neck”stay here Kaz”. Inej studied his face lines of pain that had creased his skin had started to recede. Slowly, wearily Kaz took off his gloves his hands were blanched from the lack of sunlight as if blood never had once flowed through his fingertips.  
He brought his bare fingers against her skin. Her eyes fluttered open to be met with the deep bitter coffee of Kaz’s eyes that had bored into her own. Inej’s cheeks warmed to the feel of Kaz’s hand gently caressing her face he’s here.

Gradually their noses pressed together her heart hiccuped in her chest,beats moving in an irregular pattern. Inej noticed Kaz’s eyes focus on her lips. Her cheeks burnt but she couldn’t think of a single reason why. She’d been kissed before far too many times her back pinned down to a hard mattress rough hands pulling at her skin.  
There was the time were Kaz told her to come to Per Haskell’s house to help with the case of the murdered Kaelish ambassador. It had been almost a year since she had joined the Dregs businesses over the time Inej had gotten used to the crookedly built structure of the Slats apartment building. The lack of sleep and the constant assessments that were given to her. Going to Brekker’s house was not what she expected at all. When she arrived at Haskell’s house he’d simply let her in; knowing that she was one of his investments. Inej couldn’t help thinking “the old man trusts too easily” so she walked up the thick staircase that had been decorated in plush gaudy carpet.

She knocked once then twice then walked in she sucked in a breath at the sight of Kaz . Chest bare, hair in a wet tangle on his head she watched as he pulled his shirt on eyeing the muscles on his back she noticed the black R on his bicep. He lifted his head and suddenly shame rushed through her she felt like a school girl who just realised that boys exist. She wasn’t necessarily spying even though she was a spy but there was no harm in looking.

He buttoned up his shirt his fingers bore no black leather “ has anyone else seen Kaz without gloves” then she scolded her self wondering why she would care. She coughed trying to take in the detail of the attic room;folders and documents were organised named in jaggeder writing. One wall was painted an ominous black a proper map of Ketterdam was pinned to the wall. Inej’s eyes wondered to the sturdy looking desk a carved wood version of a crow was on top of a pile of books. His raspy voice sliced through her thoughts “you ready”.

Now Inej could feel the tingling heat of his breath against her skin she tried to persuade herself that she didn’t want this that she could simply turn her face away. Make her way down the the ladder and find the others. Then before she could blink Kaz had urged their lips together . Time stopped. An invisible bound had been wrapped around them. She could feel the shine of the moon smiling in approval.

She wasn’t just a doll and object she was equally wanted two broken halves that needed to be sewed together. Kaz broke apart his eyes were wild the dark coffee of his eyes burned with intensity. “We should go the other’s- will be waiting” his voice had softened. “He’s changing,He’s getting better” Inej thought a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. A loud beeping sound came from her phone there were about twenty messages from Nina the from Jesper saying that they have been waiting over 500 hours. But one simple text from Matthias politely asking them to hurry up.  
Shaking her head she made her way down the ladder just behind Kaz her body still flushed from the kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And there he stood half way through the doorway.  
> Black hair pushed back from his his brows .  
> Shark eyes glinting inauspiciously like light reflecting off a blade.If this was a year ago Jesper would have melted like ice brought far too close to flames.  
> jesper gets closure from Kaz and his old feelings for him

Jesper and Wylan and lugged their way out the ballroom doors their hearts heavy, breath ragged from kissing too much and running. His mind cleared as the distinctive smell of smoke and damp ,mossy grass mingled in the air;”where are Kaz and Inej” he thought as he made his way towards Nina and a ruffled looking Matthias there was no hiding what they had been up to. “My great Fjerdan brother Jesper said his voice reaching in dramatic notes how are you doing” Matthias responded in a low growl.  
“I shall take that as not doing so great ” Nina had not looked up once from her phone fingers typing quickly across the keyboard. When jesper was about to ask a ping popped from his pocket rolling his eyes he took out his phone. The light from his screen illuminated his face one message from his da showed on the screen _out with Daisha should be back past twelve bells, don't break anything while i’m gone and for saints sake jesper don't do anything stupid._ Doing something stupid was Jespers middle name Daisha the women that jespers father had been courting secretly for almost a year. The women who was replacing his ma.

It was only three weeks ago that Colm had spilled the beans, well spill was a bit of an understatement he might as well had thrown them all over Jesper’s face. It was one hazy afternoon the gentle spring air brushing against his skin he had waltzed into the small yet cosy living room; his father was waiting for him his brow furrowed his fingers twiddling with a loose piece of string. For a second he thought his father had found out about the secret visits to the gambling parlours; he remembered the gleaming,lustrous lights boring into his skin the sound of copper coins hitting the table, cheers arousing into the air the chance of winning or losing it all toyed with Jespers mind. It took him fifteen minutes to draw his limbs from the window he wouldn't disappoint wylan again certainly not his father. But this time he could tell it was something else. Something new.

Jesper cleared his throat “what’s up da” and even though his voice was breezy his mind was already in arrays he could only think of the farm his mother's body resting underneath the rich soil next to a cherry tree. His father had still not looked up, reaching out jesper placed his hands on Colms shoulders shaking him slightly “da?”.  
“Ah sorry jes i-need to tell you something” jesper sat down across from his father eyes searching his face for any sign of what he was going to say  
“Is it the farm? i can take up extra hours with the dregs”  
“No we’re fine for now,there’s someone who i want you to meet someone who has become a great friend to me” who is this ‘ _someone_ ’ through jesper new this person had to be more than just a friend. Jespers heart pounded violently against his chest, his father hadn't mentioned a women since his mother. His mother, so warm so gentle as if her sole purpose was to ignite kindness in people. He could still picture her now her tall slender frame, the deep burnished brown of her skin, glossy black eyes that shone like lost stars. Jesper let his father explain everything. How he bumped into a women going by the name of Dashia Woodward they'd had a coffee talked and started meeting up every morning after work anytime they could squeeze in and the rest was history. “I’m sorry jes i should’ve said something i- was afraid” he watched as his father hung his head in shame. Jesper could feel the anger course through him, blood boiling barbarically through his veins then he stopped. In spite of everything he’d done the havoc he brought to his father's door the debt, his father was always there to pull him back up again. The least he could do was except that his father had found someone else no matter how it pained him, his father deserved happiness.

So his face broke out in a lazy grin while he swallowed down the fear that burned his tongue “that's great dad, as long as she doesn't go breaking your heart” he said half joking half serious; Colm Fahey looked up his gaze calm a sky devoid of a treacherous storm a small smile curled at the corner of his lips.  
”You know jesper, i will never forget your mother” when jesper tried to but in his father just waved him off  
“she was a queen Jes nothing could match or change how i felt for her- how i feel for her” Colm grabbed jespers hand his hold strong, grey stone eyes searched his face studying his son dismantling every detail,line and curve ”remember that” . Jesper nodded once, he remembered how they acted like things were normal the routine set in place. Everyday since his mother's death.

A hand on his shoulder shook Jesper from his thoughts, he turned and was met with the dazzling blue light of Wylan’s eyes. He could feel his bones lighten the weight had been replaced by the warmth that Wylan always provide, a warmth that set his mind at rest.  
“Are you ok”  
“Yeah everything's great” his voice came too sharply breaking the mask that Jesper was planning to use. Wylan’s facial expression shifted, he knew jesper was lying he always knows.  
“ Well ,well look who finally decided to show up” Nina said her tone unimpressed  
Jespers gaze went to kaz and inej both walking together fingers almost brushing against each other, kaz still had that undeniable impassive look on his face but something was different. He almost seemed happy. Kaz Brekker, dirty hands was happy? Then there was inej something had seemed to unravel inside of her but jesper couldn't put his finger on it.  
“ you two seemed to enjoy taking your time” Matthias said ‘always the first to complain’

“ weren't you and Nina taking your time making out in front of the whole school?” Matthias went bright red,glowering at kaz.

“ really Nina the whole school” Jesper asked in amusement, he really did take pleasure in taking the piss out of the Fjerdan.

“ Well of course, they should have taken notes” she said with a wink

“Are we going or are we just going to loiter outside”

“chill, just get in the truck and we can leave” jesper said while taking out his keys

They climbed in Matthias mumbled“ are we really letting Jesper drive?”  
“ i’ve only drank two cups of punch helvar”  
“ we’ll be fine” wylan said his soft merchling fingers brushing over his, a smile broke out on Wylan’s face a smile that made Jespers heart fly out his chest. He couldn't have been more grateful for his father forcing him to join that therapy group. He sighed starting the vehicle and to his dismay Nina had already started to sing.

They all groaned while getting out the car the journey was torturous with Nina’s singing even inej complained “ did you really have to sing all ten songs?”.  
“well duh” Nina said while fluffing out her hair. Jesper had simply drove to his house it wasnt big and definitely wasn't a mansion but it was reasonable with a basement big enough for a group of drunk teenagers. “ Now all follow me where the real party begins ” jesper opened the basement door; turning on the light he could remember the hot summer days of him and his da fixing up the house. One photo of his mother that been plastered on the wall stared at him her head high, face smiling _would_ she be disappointed in me now for the things i’ve done and what about da and this new girl Daisha. He shook his head he knew his mother would be happy that Colm had found someone new. It was selfish of him to think this way.

Nina had plumped herself on the sofa bed that he and wylan had spent many eventful nights on, but he wasn’t going to tell her that. He watched as they all settled down,Inej had curled up comfortably on an old bean bag,Kaz had took the leather chair elevating his leg on a bunch of cushions. Jesper noticed how Kaz’s gaze continuously shifted to Inej, he knew the bastard had some feelings for her but was reluctant to act on them “he’s almost too obvious, almost”.  
“ Well where’s the drinks” nina said with a wink  
“You know nina, just because we go out doesn't mean we have to consume alcohol”  
“ I have plenty other ideas helvar”  
“Nina -“  
“ I’ll get the drinks” Jesper chipped in “just don’t start killing each other while I’m gone”  
“I’ll be joining you Jesper” the sound of Kaz’s sharp voice sent a whirlwind of emotions through his head. He paused, then simply nodded his head walking back up the stairs, Kaz’s cane tapping behind him.  
***  
It has never been Jespers intention to meet someone like Kaz Brekker. In fact his father had warned him about people in Ketterdam “their cruel Jesper they wear masks to hide who they truly are”. Jesper had believed him but deep down he knew he had been wearing a mask his whole life changing constantly;like mist foaming in the wind.

Feeling one inkling of emotion for Kaz was the most foolish things he’d done,well one of the most. He remembered the desperate glances, the flirting the hope that maybe he was something. someone much more than just an employee an “investment”. But one thing Jesper knew was that he fell into love as if it were a cheap glass of vodka.  
But there was something that burned deep inside of him an inflammable scorching white flame. It singed his skin. A wound that just kept on festering.

Then there was the gambling, the intoxicating flashing lights of the parlour the drinks. Why should he focus on school when you could play? Why focus on anything but the cheap liquor that burned his throat? Anything that could fill his soul was good to him.  
Then the memory of his father finding him passed out on a bench, empty beer cans surrounding him like a makeshift quilt. Hands grabbed him shaking him “Jesper wake up - Jes!” Whoever that was he could hear the desperation in the voice, da he thought wildly. Slowly,painfully Jesper opened his eyes his mind brought back from the inky darkness that had clouded his mind.  
When his vision cleared he was meet with the deep sadness of Colm’s face he has seemed to age in less than a minute his eyes darting from Jesper to the empty cans of beer . Even though he was drunk out of his mind he still remembered that earth shattering gaze.

The car journey was silent his father’s knuckles turned white from gripping onto the steering wheel. Jesper couldn’t bare to look at his father o he watched the empty fields and the starless sky. When they got home his father was inaudible he hung his keys on the wall. Washed the plates, and poured a glass of water and just stared at him.  
Jesper felt like he was going to melt under his gaze then he spoke.

“What happened Jes? who turned you into this why -why would you do this” he looked at his shoes rubbing them against each other.  
“I don’t know da, I really don’t know”  
“How long has this been happening” Jesper could feel the rage stack up like cards on a table.  
“ And how I’m supposed to know” his voice rising “ do you think I want you to see me like this? passed out drunk miserable on some cruddy bench”  
Jesper hated being like this it was only meant to be a hand or two to take off the edge of the argument he had with Kaz.  
To forget about school and his falling grades;it felt like his world was crumbling around him locking him in. It was only meant to be a hand or two until the debt kept rising and his money got shorter and the cheap drinks kept coming. He almost didn’t know who he was anymore good.  
“ I should have never let you leave home I can’t see you like this - I can’t watch you crumble Jes” colms voice was hoarse and for a second Jesper thought his father was going to cry. His father who had gone through so much.  
“ your going to join a therapy group as of next week”  
Jesper raised his head slightly a therapy group how crazy did his father think he was? Weak one of the words Kaz used to describe him.  
His father continued “ You can use your old bike from the shed, it’s been in the back of my mind for a long while Jes this will be good for you for both of us”  
“But da - “  
“No Jes I’m putting my foot down it’s every Monday and Friday night. Not only that but I am cancelling your bank account”  
Then that’s when he really started to panic, how was he meant to manage where would his reckless energy be channelled?  
“For how long”  
“Until your better Jes, it’s going to be a bumpy road but your mother’s son you”  
His father then let him go. By the time he walked up the creaking staircase his body felt drained the adrenaline rush had faded,evaporated into nothing.  
He turned on the shower he could hardly feel the hot water droplets against his skin. Jesper looked at himself in the mirror dark bruises gathered under his eyes;his lips chapped, eyes dull from drinking.  
Jesper pulled out his phone seeing messages from everyone Mathias scolding him Nina mothering him, Inej supporting him saying something about gambling is poison . And one message from Kaz “your being pathetic” he let those words sink in;he couldn’t be bothered to untangle the thorny nest that laid in his head. He definitely couldn’t be bothered to figure Kaz out. So Jesper closed his eyes, letting sleep overtake him.  
*******  
Now Jesper was raiding the kitchen, making as much noise as possible. He could feel Kaz’s watchful gaze burning through his back , yet he couldn’t hear his cane tapping on the wooden floor. He turned swiftly  
And there he stood half way through the doorway.  
Black hair pushed back from his his brows . Shark eyes glinting inauspiciously like light reflecting off a blade.If this was a year ago Jesper would have melted like ice brought far too close to flames ending up as useless puddle on floor.  
“Are you going to help, or just stand there like a rock” he rummaged around further in the cupboards, he wasn’t a dipshit he knew the cans of beer were hidden at the back of the fridge. He just wanted to waste time and making a mess was his speciality.  
“What are you doing? We both know you’re running” Jesper Glared at him  
“ and why do you suddenly care about my well being” kaz looked unfazed my jespers harsh tone, he laid out the beer on the counter top.  
“ you're still addicted to gambling Jes” silence spread between them like blood on a fresh white shirt. Even now he could feel the irritable itch, scratching at the corners of his soul. The dice rolling on a hard oak table, the music raging and the papery feeling of cash slipping through his fingers.  
When he hadn’t gotten any pay he’d found other distractions and there were plenty.

Luckily Jesper was blessed with good looks and a talent for easy flirting and lustful kisses; from boy to girl he’d gain is reputation _‘Jesper_  
_Fahey is always down for a good time, you should have seen him down two pints of beer” or the constant guess about his sex life “apparently Jesper is so rough in bed like an animal”_

He could be all these things and sometimes he was. But he could be so much more Kaz Brekker was his first crush; yet that word sounded so flimsy a flight of emotion. No, Jesper felt so much more when he looked at Kaz his cold demeanour and those intoxicating black eyes.

Jesper remembered the first blow that came to his cheek, it had been another visit to the gambling dens on east stave. He was in a pleasant mood of course he lost but not as bad as he’d thought. Yet Jesper couldn’t help but wonder if him winning was a good thing it churned the desperate need for him to come back the next day.  
He’d walked down a back street smoke polluting the deep Ketterdam night. Jesper dodged a puddle of vomit curving sideways and shaking his head in disgust. The brute sound of hard boots hitting the ground clattered through his ears, filling his mind with a cold Waring. His fingers brushed against the pearl handed guns who ever it was he was ready.

Four boys entered the alley way. None of them displayed any weapons but they all had that menacing look in their eyes one that promised bloodshed.  
“ what brings you boys to these streets” jesper eyed them none of them were as tall as him thank the saints for his zemmni roots  
“ oh nothing really, just need the money you took off the house” jesper stepped closer sizing the boy up  
“ i don’t have your money”  
“ i mean you could always pay with those guns of yours, couldn't he boys ” jesper let out a demeaning chuckle  
“And what makes you think i’m going to give them up” in less than a breath Jesper brought his knee up hard, hearing the satisfying sound of jaw against bone. The boy cried out, stumbling backwards clutching his bleeding nose “get him” his finger pointing directly at jesper.  
Soon jesper was dodging a punch the momentum sending the boy crashing to the floor a boy with a scrawny build tackled jesper trying to unhand him of his guns. Then he was rolling around on the floor a knife pierced against the nape of his neck. Laughter erupted in the air, jesper knew he was going to die but not on the sullen hard cobblestone streets of Ketterdam.  
Just in that moment a sharp voice cut through the mocking laughter. “ Don't you three have anything better to do?” he turned his head sideways surprised to see a young boy in a tight tailored suit the boys seemed to still. A sudden swoosh of a cane slashed through the air his attackers knocking to the floor in a pitiful heap.

Jesper emotions were a tangle of amazement and confusion, a black gloved hand reached out to him his father's warning rang out in his head _“their cruel Jesper they wear masks to hide who they truly are”_. But right now he didn't really have a choice he took the hand rising up from the ground yet everything about this boy seemed hidden , concealed practised. “ Jesper fahey am i right?” he nodded his head unaware how this creature knew his name ;they made there way out the alley the boy turned to him once “i have a job for you”. And just like a lost duckling jesper followed after him.

 

It would be a stupid lie to tell if he said he didn't care about Kaz he did but he wasn't planning to chase after a train that had long left station. But now kaz had stepped closer his expression open “ jes i- “ jesper gathered the drinks bringing out his phone to dial the pizza house. “ what toppings would like kaz” his eyes never reaching his.  
“Jes please -  
“Please what kaz, so you can tear me down again i may not be fixed but i’m better” a gloved hand wrapped around his arm  
“I’m trying jes” their eyes met he held his gaze, Jesper let him talk  
“ what’s with the gloves kaz” he could feel him stiffen his eyes glazing over as if he was transported to a far away place. Then things started to piece together the gloves must be hiding a weakness, the reasons why kaz would deny affection it made sense.  
“I’m sorry jesper, it’s hard sometimes” he nodded his head  
“I’m sorry too”

After the pizza arrived they went back down to the basement all eyes were on them well mainly the food. “can you believe they left us like this alone , hungry” Nina rubbed her stomach in misery  
“ i ordered meat feat galore for you nina”  
“ why thank you jesper- see Matthias all you have to do is feed me” Matthias rubbed his hand against her belly, slowly running down too her thighs Nina purred in response. Jesper looked form Wylan who was blushing, inej scratched the back of her neck and kaz who looked up awkwardly to the ceiling.

“so the school really was getting a show” at that Matthias cheeks turned to the colour of beetroot red, he replied by mumbling a slight curse under his breath. Kaz layed out the drinks on the small table the delightful smell of freshly cooked pizza ran through jespers nostrils. His eyes wandered to wylan who was sultry licking tomato sauce off his fingers, he would have to deal with him later but for now jesper pulled wylan into his lap his calloused fingers playing the red golden girls of his hair.

Nina suddenly banged her beer bottle all the attention was on her . “ i have an announcement to make i love all of you guys even you Kaz come pucker up” she began to shimmer over towards kaz until he gave her the look of death  
“Come any closer be sure this cane will connect with your skull” and even though his tone was impassive it held humour behind it. Inej threw her head back laughing her hair in a perfectly knotted tangle,jesper looked at Kaz . His eyes had widened while staring at Inej, she stopped noticing kaz’s gaze had landed on her a blush had risen  
to her neck . They really were a bunch of lovesick teenagers .

Jesper downed the rest of his beer, there was a question that had to be asked.  
“Where are we all going”  
“ we should be going to bed”  
“Hes talking about graduation you big oaf” Nina playfully pushed Matthias shoulder yet there was an uncertain silence that circled the room  
“I want to hunt slavers” another wave of silence crashed into them  
“ to find the people who scam young girls into dreams that will never be reached, into a trade that takes away their innocence” Inej’s voice was stern her eyes distant and determined.  
“Wow inej didn't know you were gonna turn all ‘women in black’ on us” Nina said her smile magnanimous  
“Imagine it” jesper said “ beware of the small yet mighty wraith she’ll steal your soul in the night  
Matthias nodded taking the role of a proud soldier “i wish you all the best”

 

They all turned to kaz his cane sat lazily beside him “i’m staying here i have some business to attend to” Jesper almost felt sorry for the poor citizens of ketterdam he could imagine what sort of business kaz would get up to . Wylan chirped up his fire blue eyes burned with intensity  
“i want a degree in chemistry , i was thinking to go to a music school somewhere in the country”  
“ so much cuter when your smart” jesper let his finger run against Wylans defined jaw  
The poor merchiling looked like he would melt in his seat.  
“ leave him alone jesper , what are going to do” he paused for a moment there was no real answer for that question  
“I was thinking about helping out my dad, but since he has this new girlfriend… “  
“Wait colm is back in the saddle- you get my joke” Nina was the only one laughing at her terrible joke.  
“ i don't really want to talk about it, i mean it’s great but -”  
“She’s not your mother and she never will be” kaz said in a calm understanding way  
“Yes that its really”  
“ your not the only one with a new addition to the family -well two” Wylan said the few chances jesper got to meet Alys she’d been bubbly and chirpy a bit too chirpy to be married to that merch scum Jan Van Eck but there she was with her high pregnant belly. He couldn't believe that a father was actively trying to replace his son because he couldn't read, Wylan who had so many gifts and talents who had been shunned all his life.  
yet some how he still had hope and jesper made it is duty to show him that he was loved. They spent the rest of the evening laughing and joking, nina and jesper span around in circles singing an old kerch drinking song , their voices rowdy and ear blistering. By the end of it jesper ended up vomiting in a bucket, he was never one for holding his liquor.  
The laughter began to die he could hear his speech start to slur,his eyelids grew heavy  
“I lo-ve you merchling” but he had already disappeared into a deep sleep.


	9. i'm trying (Kaz pov)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kaz contemplates the nights events.

The night had gone better than kaz planned, the job went more or less smoothly except almost having a panic attack and Inej being there to see it . His eyes glanced around the room jesper was sprawled over the couch wylan tucked up next to him, Nina and Matthias were curled up together he still marvelled at their sheer joy of being so close together. Then inej,her legs were tucked underneath her ,long black lashes that contrasted perfectly against the deep copper of her skin.

It was settling to watch her soft breath escape her lips. Kaz longed to be next to her to feel the heat from her mouth the smoothness of her skin to be one with her. If only he could shed his skin remove his gloves. He’d been hiding and he wasn't sure he wanted to hide anymore . The moment that they shared on the roof confirmed that .He felt a new found wholeness that filled his stomach it coursed through his veins, it scared him.

They had been all broken once, lost the piece of a puzzle that kept them whole but they were trying . kaz was willing to try, he took a swing of his beer the hot liquid slipping down his throat _“how can jesper drink this"_ he thought to himself. And though that he hated the thought of it ,he cared about the six of them more than he wanted to admit, hopefully they knew that.

Kaz slowly slipped off his gloves flexing his fingers, they were pale the sun had not seen them in years, but the sun would just have to wait. He would try , he would try for her. For now that's all he could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of this story i hope you enjoyed ,writing a new story called 'this is gospel' will be uploading soon.


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